UptownMagazine.com//When the Dating Spark Is Missing

He has everything. He’s smart, sweet, funny, caring, and communicative, but you’re just not feeling him. You can’t put your finger on the reason, but there is absolutely no spark between the two of you. Chick flicks and Twilight novels have most women, like me, clinging to an idea of romance that may be a bit out of our reach. Maybe it’s the type of dudes I’m dating, but I’ve never had a romance novel-worthy love. Am I wrong to think that the butterflies have to exist? Most of us walk around with a princess complex, expect to be swept off our feet and yet forget that love needs more than romance to survive. Take this story for example.

He stared at me one night on the train and I smiled back. He was cute — dark chocolate with sparkly white teeth perfect for a Crest commercial. Every time I glanced in his direction, he was caught staring. My stop was the last and so was his. When I got off the train, he came up and simply stated, “You’re beautiful. What’s your name?” Easy. Honest. I couldn’t keep walking as if I hadn’t heard him, knowing full well I did. “Danielle,” I stopped in my tracks and smiled.

He deserved conversation at the very least. He approached me in such a well-mannered way, how could I deny him small talk? He continued walking with me as I made my way to my building. He was new to this country, having been here for only six months, and moved here for great American opportunities. He was so endearingly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed — someone that still believed in fairy tales. It warmed my heart, but definitely shouldn’t be confused with the spark that two can feel when the planets align and the chemistry is spot-on.

I gave him my phone number. He walked me to my door and wished me a good night. Then he did something that I haven’t had a lot of men do, he looked at me square in the eyes and said, “It was my pleasure meeting you. I hope that this will begin a long relationship. I really like you.” I smiled, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder why this man was being so honest with me and why was I so skeptical of his honesty. This is the exact type of exchange I’ve dreamed about with each turn of a romance novel page.


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