I’ve deleted every account I ever made on any OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish or Match.com. The men who frequented my inboxes never had anything to say and if they did, it was, “Hey” or they’d hit on me by telling me that the extra weight I carry is what attracted them to me. To say I was over it, was an understatement.
And Tinder? Ugh. If I match with someone, they never say anything. Are they waiting for me to say something? Sometimes I think so, so I do. I send something witty, something that shows I looked through their profile, something that deserves a response, and what do I get? Nothing.
Then there’s the in-person meetings, which I have no shortage of. I seem to meet a new man everyday. Either he’s walking by me, sitting across from me on the train, my Uber driver, or at the same cafe–these men also lack the initiative to start our interaction or the desire to keep our interaction going.
Man after man after man, we meet and there’s sometimes fun moments, then they disappear or they stall. I’m currently in the middle of three men stalling. I’ll tell you about one — the other two aren’t even worth a drawn out narrative’ same scene, different script.
Forgive me for being old school, but I do think it’s up to the man to lead–ask a woman out, suggest a date, let her know you’re interested. Because we all know that 9 times out of 10, the women are interested, ready and willing.
Remember Kyle? He was the really nice guy who I’d gone on a few dates with. He’s also the guy I wanted more from.
Well, after a few weeks of not replying to his message — the one where he said “Having a life moment. Hope all is well with you. Apologies for my delayed response” — he called me.
“Danielle, how are you?” He asked casually as if we just spoke the day before.
“I’m wonderful,” I said, deciding to be short, but wanting him to know that my life was more than OK.
“Are you still interested in me?” Kyle said cutting to the chase.
“What kind of question is that?” I laughed.
Kyle and I chatted for an hour and he admitted that he’d been MIA. “You’re too busy for me anyways. I see you doing your thing,” Kyle said, fighting against his own admission.
“I’m busy, sure. But I make time for the things I want,” I told Kyle.
After a minute, Kyle asked, “Do you think you made time for me?”
“I know I did. I may not have a ton of it to give, but I am willing and I am interested and I’ve shown you that.”
I broke it, “If I don’t reach out, we don’t speak.”
“You’re right. It’s me too. I’ve got to do better,” Kyle said.
“Sounds good. I’ll be waiting for that,” I said.
I tried everything I could to get Kyle to ask me out on a date. I even offered up my free time, “I’m free Friday and Sunday.”
Still nothing. We ended the conversation cordially, but I couldn’t help but be pissed.
I put the silver platter down in front of him and arranged everything for him and he still didn’t take a bite. He claimed to be interested. He said he wanted to spend time with me and still, no dice.
A few days later, I received a text, “Maybe I can see you one day soon?”