“You’re adding to the good Danielle,” Langston responded to my text a few hours later.
“Can I call you?” I typed back quickly, glad he wasn’t ignoring me.
“I’m at work, but I will call you later.”
I was so glad that Langston wanted to have the same conversation I’d been craving. Finally, I was going to know what he wanted out of our blossoming friendship. I hoped the feelings I had were mutual and then I remembered the born-again Christian I was pursuing and decided to pray about it instead.
Langston called me later that day, “What’s up pretty girl?”
And almost out of nowhere, Langston says, “Man, I need to come to New York. I need a break from New Orleans.”
“So take a break,” I said, more out of wanting to make his trip about me rather than his exhaustion.
“I will, but I just have to see when.”
In my fantasy land of excitement in my head, I said, “You’ll stay with me or…”
“I’ll probably get a hotel. I want the New York experience,” Langston said without knowing he took the wind out of my sails.
I was deflated, “Oh, I get it.”
“But you’ll show me around, right?” Langston asked, seemingly smoothing my ruffled feathers.
“Sure,” I tried not to sound sad. I was getting tired of my passive approach, so I decided to get a wee bit aggressive. “So, a couple of days ago, you asked me if I liked you and I said I did. I mean, I do. I asked you and you didn’t answer. Why did you avoid answering?”
Langston sighed, “I just didn’t know how to answer that.”
“Well, I am sure you can figure it out,” my aggression pushed.
Langston laughed, “OK, here’s the thing.” He took a breath, “I do like you Danielle. But, I’m just really focused on…”
I cut him off, “I know. On God, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have me.”
Langaton laughed, “Why do you want me so bad? Because you can’t have me?”
He was right. I’ve had this insatiable hunger for things that weren’t designated for me ever since I was a little girl. “Who says I can’t have you?” My tone was flirtatious.
“I said,” Langston responded.
My heart sank, “Really?”
“Really,” Langston said. “I’m not a challenge or a prize you win for knocking down the most pins. And I haven’t told you about my born-again lifestyle to tempt you to want me. I am serious about this. I have changed my life and I am focused on serving God. Now, you respect that, or you’re gonna have to go. I’ve cut women off when they doubt my sincerity about this.”
A mouthful, each word more painful than the next, like daggers in my ears. “Got it. I’ll talk to you later, OK?”
I hung up quickly and shook my head at myself. I should know better.
I slowed down the frequency of our communication over the following weeks after that deflating call. Langston would text me every now and then and he’d often comment on things I posted on Instagram or Snapchat. I decided to add him on Snapchat and the very first story I saw was with him and a beautiful young woman kissing him on the cheek. He put a crown emoji on her head. The next snap was a selfie of him with heart emojis over his eyes.
I was hot. I needed to know who the woman was. I went to his Instagram, and there it was—a photo of the two of them. She looked really familiar. And when I saw that he tagged her, I immediately knew who she was—a very popular pop singer. They were hugged up in the picture. He didn’t caption it, but she commented the smiley emoji with hearts as eyes.